First Steps

Sharon didn’t consider it lying, just being careful because she was too scared for the whole truth to come out. This was a new bridge she was crossing and was taking it slowly, one step at a time.

The job began with a little lie, enough to keep her inquisitive, new colleagues satisfied, she hoped.

“Have you any kids?” was their first question.

“Yes.”

“Boy or girl?”

“Boy.”

“What’s his name?”

“Michael.”

No lies so far.

Sharon had been delighted to land the job. Part-time, it would fit in with Michael’s school hours, she wouldn’t have to rely on anyone else to pick him up and her mother would cover the holidays - not that she knew yet. Another bridge to be crossed.

It didn’t do to look too far ahead. This job was her lifeline.

Sharon hadn’t worked since before Michael was born. Adam earned good money from the insurance company and with a discounted staff mortgage they were comfortably off. They’d both been happy for him to be the breadwinner. It was different now.

The questions continued. “How old is he?”

“Seven.”

“Which school does he go to?”

There was a limit to how much she wanted them to know. It could be repeated, however innocently.

“Where does your husband work?”

She gave the name of the firm, fifteen miles away. Far enough, she hoped.

“Where d’you live?”

This was trickier. She was using her mother’s address as it was crucial to her plan that Adam didn’t know about the job.

While still debating her answer Janice, the section leader, approached.

“Come on you lot. That’s enough questioning.”

Turning to Sharon, she smiled. “Settling in?”

Sharon nodded, glad of the reprieve.

“Don’t let them put you off. They’ll have plenty of time to find out all about you.”

That’s exactly what she was worried about.

The job itself was easy enough, mostly basic, clerical work. She knew she’d find it boring after a time, but had to keep thinking about the monthly salary which would be paid into the new building society account in her own name. The minimum deposit of £50 had been scraped together from the Child Benefit. It was a long time since that had been used for Michael, but she silently promised he’d be the first to get something from her wages.

“Coming to the canteen with us?” she was asked at noon.

“I’ve got to go out for bread,” was her excuse. She’d pass the Co-op on the way home from school but she wanted to avoid any more questions.

Part-timers didn’t qualify for a  full lunch hour, but the firm insisted on at least a twenty minute break being taken. By the time she’d got the loaf there was just five minutes to quickly eat the sandwich she’d brought from home.

In the canteen Sharon noticed that quite a few had food from Fatso’s sandwich bar across the street. She wasn’t going to waste her money on that even though the smell of bacon butties was tempting.

She slipped back into her chair, relieved to have successfully avoided any more questions but became so absorbed in her work that she didn’t notice the time.

“Shouldn’t you be off home?” Janice was standing beside her.

Sharon looked at her watch and gasped. It was 2.40.

“Don’t you have to pick your son up?”

“Yes, school finishes at 3.15.”

“Better get moving then, but leave your desk tidy.”

That took another five minutes.

She walked out of the office but once through the doors she ran - all the way downstairs to the ground floor. No time to wait for the lift.

Adam only let her drive when it suited him and even checked the mileage to make sure. He took the train to work; just as well considering. So for now she was using the bus, but that meant allowing extra time for it being late.

She always met Michael at the school gate. If she was held up he could innocently blurt it out in front of his dad and then the inquisition would start. And how would it end? Like it usually did.

She arrived at the school gates with minutes to spare.

“You look flustered, Sharon,” another mother remarked.

“Just one of those days.” She felt herself blush at the lie even though it was more than half-true.

No one knew what it was like for her. Not her family - although her mother might have doubts - and certainly not Adam’s parents. They’d never believe it of their blue-eyed boy.

Her plan was to save enough and be free to leave with Michael. She’d no idea how long it would take. This job was the first step across to the other side.

Michael came out, his little brow furrowed as he scanned the waiting crowd. When he spotted her his whole face lit up.

“Mum!” he shouted and waved furiously as if he was inconspicuous, but not with those blond curls. He got them from his father, along with the piercing blue eyes

that she’d fallen for and still sometimes found difficult to resist.

As they walked home Michael chattered about his day at school, wanting to tell her all the new things he’d learned. Just like she’d been at his age, thirsting for knowledge and full of amazement at the new world opening up before him.

“I’ve got a letter in my bag about a trip to the museum. Can I go?”

Another expense. “Show me when we get home.” She tried to keep her voice light.

As they turned into their street they saw a police car at their house. Two uniformed officers were sitting inside, and watched as she opened the gate.

As soon as she put the key in the lock a voice called, “Mrs. Cooper?”

She stopped, not wanting turn round.

Michael tugged on her sleeve. “Mum, the police lady is talking to you.”

Her stomach churned.

“Can we go inside?” the policewoman asked.

Her throat was so tight she could only nod.

“What’s your name?” the other officer diverted Michael’s attention. “Do you usually have a drink when you get home from school?”

“I have a Fruit Shoot and Mum has tea. We have a chocolate biscuit from the tin, but only one.”

“Why don’t you show me,” the officer smiled. “Maybe we could make a cup of tea for your Mum?”

Sharon sat down on the sofa without being asked. Something bad must have

happened to one of the family. She listened in snatches.

“….. trying  to contact you …. neighbours couldn’t help …”

She was bewildered. Why were they here? “ I just started a new job today,” was all she could say.

“Your husband has had an accident. He was knocked down outside The Crown.”

A lorry’s brakes had failed and careered onto the pavement. Adam and a colleague were in the way.

She stared, sensing there was more to come.

“The doctors say his injuries are life threatening. We can take you to the hospital, but is there anyone you can leave Michael with?”

“My neighbour should be home. She’ll have him till my mother gets here.”

She gave her mother’s name and phone number.

In a dream she heard the phone call being made. Then her neighbour appeared and she kissed Michael goodbye telling him to wait next door until Grandma came.

It wasn’t until she was in the police car that she made the connection. “Did you say The Crown?”

“Yes. Why?”

“But that’s nowhere near his work.”

The policewoman was silent.

“Who was he with?”

“I don’t have the other person’s name.”

Was it a woman? A few times she’d been suspicious. The lunchtime drinking had been getting out of hand and she’d worried he’d get the sack. Increasingly Adam called into their local pub when he got off the train then came home in a fighting mood, but was always sorry and sober in the morning.

Before Sharon could ask any more they’d arrived at the hospital and she was rushed through A & E. In the quiet of the Relatives’ Room a doctor in green scrubs spoke with her.

“Mrs. Cooper, your husband has suffered severe brain injuries as well as extensive damage to his liver and kidneys. There is nothing more we can do.”

“What about his companion?”

“She only sustained minor injuries as it seems he pushed her out of the way and took the full force of the impact himself.”

So he had been drinking with a girlfriend, not ‘the lads’ as he’d always claimed. Why hadn’t she realised?

The doctor was still talking. “At the moment Adam is on life support with no hope of regaining consciousness.”

That meant only one thing. She took a deep breath and looked the doctor in the eye for the first time. Once she crossed this bridge there would be no turning back.

“Tell me what you want me to do.”